MONTHLY TOPIC
Self-Care Challenge
Our September topic is found under our Physical Health Pillar of Healthy Widowhood.
Here's a preview from Modern Widows Club Founder Carolyn Moor about this month's video.
Summer has ended and we are moving slowly into autumn. It’s a transitional month, which means it’s time for a follow-up on our self-care routine. We talk about physical health a lot here at Modern Widows Club because our research shows how vital it is in widowhood for holistic healing and health. The intense stress and anxiety from all of the secondary losses in this stage of life demand that we take a hard look at our routines for physical self-care.
Our bodies store memories, just like our brains do. Widowhood is a trauma, though much of the impact on our bodies is unseen. Trauma throws the brain and body into survival mode, and it can be reactivated at even the slightest intense physical sensation.
Feeling out of control can be harmful to your health. Taking charge of your self-care is the most loving and daring path to recovery you will make.
Here are a few small self-care suggestions. Choose one here, or of your own creation, and focus on it during September:
Get 10 minutes of sunshine
Post a positive affirmation sticky note to your mirror and read it while brushing your teeth
Take our Widow Empowerment Quiz
Watch Carolyn’s video for more suggestions!
Watch Carolyn's September Video
LEGENDARY WIDOW ROLE MODEL
Betty Ford
Elizabeth (Betty) Anne Warren Ford, born April 8, 1918, was the first lady of the United States from 1974 to 1977, as the wife of President Gerald Ford. She also served as the second lady of the United States from 1973 to 1974 when her husband was vice president.
Betty, who grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan, began taking dance classes at age 8, and dance developed into a passion for her. At age 14 she began teaching popular dances to children, and worked with children with disabilities at the Mary Free Bed Home for Crippled Children. She started her own dance school while still in high school, instructing both children and adults.
When Betty was 16, her mother became a widow when Betty's father died from carbon monoxide poisoning while working in the family’s garage. With his passing, her family lost its primary breadwinner, and her mother began working as a real estate agent to support the family.
In August 1947 Betty was introduced to Gerald Ford, a lawyer and World War II veteran who had recently resumed his legal practice after returning from service in the Navy, and who was planning to run for the United States House of Representatives. They were married on October 15, 1948, remaining married for 58 years until Gerald’s death. They had four children together, three sons and one daughter.
Gerald Ford’s political career having progressed, he was nominated on October 12, 1973 by President Richard Nixon to serve as vice president of the United States. On August 9, 1974, after the resignation of Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford became president of the United States.
As first lady, Betty Ford was active in social policy and set a precedent as a politically-active presidential spouse, ultimately becoming a popular and impactful first lady. She was regarded as the most politically outspoken first lady since Eleanor Roosevelt.
In 1975, People magazine named Betty Ford one of its three most intriguing people in America. In 1977, the World Almanac ranked her as one of the 25 most influential American women.
Ford was an outspoken advocate for women’s rights during her time as first lady. She was a prominent force in the Women’s Movement of the 1970s and a vocal supporter of the proposed Equal Rights Amendment. In 1975, Ford successfully lobbied her husband to sign an executive order to establish the National Commission on the Observance of International Women’s Year.
Ford supported numerous charities as first lady, assisting in fundraising for the little-known Hospital for Sick Children in Washington, D.C., whose patients were predominantly African American, as well as No Greater Love, an organization benefiting the children of Vietnam war MIAs and POWs. She served as honorary president of the National Lupus Foundation, seeing lupus as a disease which greatly impacted women yet received little public attention.
After leaving the White House in 1977, Ford continued to lead an active public life. She remained involved in women’s issues, accepting numerous speaking engagements and lending her name to charities for fundraising. Ford continued to lobby for the ERA and remained active in the feminist movement.
Ford raised awareness about addiction when she sought help for, and publicly disclosed, her long-running struggle with alcoholism and substance abuse, ultimately founding, and serving as the first chair of the board of directors for, the Betty Ford Center for substance abuse and addiction. She tackled the stigmatized issue of HIV/AIDS during the HIV/AIDS crisis, receiving the Los Angeles AIDS Project’s “Commitment to Life Award” in 1985.
Ford was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal in 1998 and the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1991. In 2013, she was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame.
Betty Ford became widowed on December 26, 2006 when her husband Gerald died at age 93 of heart failure. She died of natural causes on July 8, 2011, three months after her 93rd birthday.
Read about our other Legendary Widow Role Models here.
Every week in July and August we’ve hosted live conversations on Facebook and YouTube with our powerful WEE 2022 Scottsdale speakers.
It's been a fantastic opportunity to meet our speakers and hear a sneak preview of their WEE topics!
The final interview in our series will be with Jenn Batya Fortune, Messianic Minister, on Friday, September 2 at 12pm ET. Jenn will be providing Spiritual Impartation at WEE on Sunday morning.
No registration is required — just join us live on Facebook or YouTube.
If you missed any of the previous conversations with our WEE speakers, you'll find recordings on our Facebook and YouTube pages.
To learn more about WEE 2022 Scottsdale, click below.
Tuesday, August 30 was National Grief Awareness Day in the United States.
This observance was created to encourage open communication about loss and bereavement and to help people learn about grief and ways they can be there for someone who has experienced loss.
All day long on our social media feeds August 30, we shared several myths and facts about grief, along with ways you can support a person experiencing grief. (Visit us on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn to see the posts.)
If you'd like to learn more about how you can support a grieving person, we invite you to watch “How to Support and Comfort Someone Going Through Grief.” In this TEDxOaklandStudio talk from Carolyn Moor, she shares insights and thoughts about supporting and comforting someone who's grieving.
GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
The Art of Self-Care
By Paula Harris
We hear the phrase “self-care” tossed around a lot in everyday conversation, but what does it really mean? For some, the phrase probably conjures up images of massages and pedicures. For others, maybe it reminds them of their weekly yoga class or a nightly meditation session before bed. For others still, perhaps it means balancing their checkbook or organizing their file cabinet. The truth is, there is no one set image of what self-care looks like — it’s different for each individual.
First, it’s important to clarify what self-care is not. It is not instant gratification. A shopping spree might make you happy for an hour or so, eating a bag of chips in the moment, and lying on the couch all day instead of getting outside may feel comforting, but these small moments of bliss are often followed by longer periods of regret.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t indulge every now and again. If you’ve worked hard and earned a work bonus, by all means, treat yourself to that new dress you’ve been eyeing. If you’re craving a cookie for dessert, eat one. If you’re exhausted, take a nap and allow your body to rest. Just be careful to distinguish between what is helpful and what is harmful.
At its most basic, self-care can be defined as any activity or behavior that has a positive impact on your overall physical, emotional, or mental well-being. Self-care, unlike self-indulgence, does not result in harm.
Let’s dig a little bit deeper into the five different self-care categories: physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual.
Physical
Physical self-care refers to taking care of your body, but it goes far beyond just getting in exercise. Eating healthy balanced meals, getting enough sleep, and taking the time to rest when your body needs it are all expressions of self-care as well.
Mental
Considering the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s very important to take some time to let your mind relax and rejuvenate. Whether that means meditating daily, challenging yourself by doing puzzles, or reading a book to learn something new, the state of your mind is extremely influential to your overall well-being. Mental self-care also includes practicing a healthy inner dialogue. Be kind and compassionate with yourself. You’re doing the best you can.
Social
As humans, feeling connected to one another is critical. Although we likely don’t have time to see our friends and loved ones daily, making time to cultivate the relationships that are important to us is an essential part of practicing self-care.
Emotional
Allowing yourself the time and capacity to process your emotions is another huge component to holistic self-care. It’s especially important to have healthy outlets to cope with less pleasant emotions like anger and stress. Again, your inner dialogue should be patient and gentle as you allow yourself to feel everything you need to feel.
Spiritual
Finally, spirituality is a self-care practice that cannot be overlooked. While many practice specific religions, spirituality doesn’t necessarily have to take a religious form. While spirituality means attending church or praying for some, for others it can be as simple as connecting with nature or meditating.
Click below to continue reading Paula's article.
We hope to see you in Scottsdale next month at our Widow Empowerment Event, but if you’re not able to join us, would you consider supporting our event in another way?
We invite you to check out our Amazon Wish List, which shares some of our most-needed event items. You can order and have them sent directly from Amazon to us.
When specifying a shipping address, please select “MWC Wish List Order - Susie Crouch's Gift Registry Address,” and be sure to mark the items as a gift.
Every donated item helps us reduce expenses and put more resources towards providing services and programs to widows.
After you place your order, if you’d like to receive an acknowledgement letter from us for your tax-deductible in-kind donation, please click here to submit your request.
Thank you for your support. We are grateful for your generosity!
MWC BOOK CLUB
On Monday, September 19 at 8pm ET, come join our virtual Book Club for widows!
Our club provides a monthly forum for frank, engaging, and enjoyable discussions about books in a variety of genres.
This month we’re discussing “It's Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too)” by Nora McInerny Purmort. Nora experienced the loss of her unborn baby, her father, and her husband all within weeks of each other. This is a memoir about loving madly, letting go, and bringing heart and levity to sometimes difficult and uncomfortable conversations.
If you haven’t yet read our September book, we hope you’ll pick up a copy. Then join us September 19 for a great conversation!
Our Book Club meets on Zoom the third Monday of each month. Click below to sign up, or to update your subscription preferences to be included.
Modern Widows Club is happy to announce the launch of our Fairmont, Minnesota community and support group for widows!
Fairmont Community Advocate Tonya M. shares this:
I live in Fairmont, MN with my daughter, Brynlee. My husband, Ryan, died in a car accident on October 10, 2015. At the time, my daughter was 15 months old. I was introduced to Modern Widows Club a little over a year after becoming a widow, where I was lucky enough to meet the founder of Modern Widows Club, who happened to be in Minnesota at the time. When I became a widow, I wanted to find other widows who understood what I was going through and realized that there is not much out there, especially in southern Minnesota. For a few years, I have wanted to start something and finally decided the time was right to start a group where I can help women around this area as they go through their journey. I believe that everyone has a different story, and we can all be there to help each other and give encouragement, support and friendship to each other.
I am a co-owner/funeral director at a funeral home. I see many people who have lost loved ones and what a need there is to have something like this. Over the past few years, I started dating again; coincidentally, his name is Ryan also.
In my free time, I enjoy shopping, reading, jigsaw puzzles, being on the lake and most of all spending time with Brynlee and my family and friends.
To learn more about our Fairmont Community, click below.
Connect with Our Fairmont Community
modernwidowsclub.org
844-4-A-WIDOW
insidelook@modernwidowsclub.org