LEGENDARY WIDOW ROLE MODEL
Helen Fabela Chavez
Our October 2023 Legendary Widow Role Model is Helen Fabela Chavez, widow of Cesar Chavez. Among numerous other accomplishments, Helen picketed alongside her husband in the farm labor movement in the United States, was arrested in strikes, ran a thriving business, and raised the couple’s eight children.
Helen was quiet and humble but fiercely determined and strong-willed in the face of unrelenting obstacles and steep odds.
Born on January 21, 1928 in Brawley, California, Helen grew up in the Central Valley of California. She dropped out of high school to support her family by working in the fields. She met her future husband, Cesar, while they were both laboring as farm workers in the mid-1940s. Helen and Cesar married in 1948.
In 1962, Cesar began building what eventually became the United Farm Workers (UFW). Helen went back to work in the fields to help support the family while her husband travelled California’s Central Valley recruiting farm workers. She earned $5 a week plus food and housing.
When the Delano Grape Strike began in 1965, Helen took over management of the Farm Workers Credit Union, which had been established in 1963 as a part of the larger movement led by her husband Cesar and Dolores Huerta, co-founder of the UFW. Helen maintained a home life, joined vineyard picket lines before dawn, and then worked all day at the Farm Workers Credit Union. She ran the credit union for more than 25 years before retiring.
Helen was widowed when Cesar passed away in 1993. She stayed out of the public eye for most of her remaining years. A year after Cesar died, Helen accepted the Medal of Freedom, the highest American honor for civilians, from President Bill Clinton on Cesar’s behalf. In 2003, she gave an interview when the United States Post Office released a stamp commemorating her husband. In 2012, she met President Barack Obama at a dedication for a national monument to Cesar in Keene, where the Cesar Chavez Foundation is located.
Helen passed away in 2016 at age 88. Upon her death, her family released a statement saying Cesar could not have led the farmworker’s labor movement without his wife’s support.
Learn more about Helen, along with 11 other inspirational widow role models, in our book “Legendary Widows: Stories of Legacy.” Available on Amazon, 100% of proceeds help support our mission.
MWC SPECIAL EVENT
Join Us October 24 for Support and Connection
You still have time to register for our interactive Zoom-based Coach-a-Thon with MWC Founder Carolyn Moor. This will be Carolyn’s final Coach-a-Thon in 2023, so don’t miss it!
Join us for this special opportunity for a meaningful and supportive mentoring conversation in a safe and non-judgmental environment.
Bring a question for Carolyn, which you can ask publicly or privately. All widows are welcome.
After registering, you’ll receive an email with details about joining the event.
The session won’t be recorded, so don’t forget to mark your calendar!
We look forward to seeing you there.
MENTAL HEALTH MOMENTS
A Mindset Prepared to Experience the Good Around You
By Cyndi Williams, MSW, LCSW
This month we have been focusing on putting our energy toward feeding our passions. I hope that you have been finding inspiration and meaning in this challenge.
For newer widows, parents who are new empty nesters, recently retired individuals, or those going through any number of other life transitions, it may be difficult to even know what you are passionate about when your focus for so long has been your marriage, your children, your career, or any number of other priorities that may recently have shifted.
Part of our identity, our personhood, is having passions, making our mark, and showing up with something to give ourselves and others. Loss of identity involves a shift in passions and can leave us feeling hollow and directionless.
Take heart, sisters and friends, because if you are living and breathing, there is passion to be found in this world again! But where can it be found?
First, do a self-scan of your mindset. Decide before you get out of bed in the morning that you are here for a reason, that you have something to offer the world that only you are uniquely equipped to offer.
Do you believe this? When was the last time you said this to yourself, or anything at all kind and empowering? Our self-talk directly feeds our mindset and our sense of self.
Click below to continue reading Cyndi’s article.
Widowed in 2013, Cyndi Williams is a mental health advisor and contributor for Modern Widows Club. Follow her on Facebook at CyndiWilliamsLCSW.
GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Grief Over the Years
by Marisela Marquez
Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I always going to feel this pain?” It is the intense emotional sorrow we feel within ourselves after a loved one dies. The pain that transpires into rivers of tears as we reminisce on what was and what could have been.
I have asked myself this question plenty of times, not knowing if I would ever be able to answer it one day. I struggled to see a light in a tunnel full of darkness and despair for years. It is a path with no direction and no hope.
I was now walking blind on the road we call grief. A place full of deep sorrow, confusion, and despair. The unfathomable truth of mortality had hit my family like a wrecking ball. In four months, I had experienced the death of my father, whom I loved and cherished with all my heart. I experienced the painful truth of having to bury my loving husband just after three years of marriage. Weeks later, after his death, I miscarried our second child.
All I saw was grief. It surrounded me every minute of my day and everywhere I would go. There was no escaping it as it would find me in every corner; I tried to hide from it. I never thought I could feel anything else besides that emotional pain.
However, I can attest that even though the pain of losing my loved ones still lives within me every day, I have also been able to feel more than just grief.
Click below to continue reading Marisela’s article.
Marisela is an author, blogger, and podcaster who is passionate about sharing helpful information on navigating life and parenting after loss. Connect with her at embracingwidowhood.com.
MWC BOOK CLUB
Join Us for Our November Book Club
Our virtual Book Club for widows meets on Zoom the third Monday of each month. Our next meeting is November 20 at 8pm ET, when we’ll discuss Grieving Is Loving by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore.
In the style of a quote-a-day collection, Grieving Is Loving is comprised of quotations from Dr. Cacciatore’s best-selling book Bearing the Unbearable and other sources, plus an enormous amount of new material. Distilled into easy-to-access small chunks, the book is especially well-suited for the grieving mind that may struggle with concentration.
Just 30 seconds on any page will empower, hearten, and support you. Whether weeks or years have gone by since your person’s passing, you’ll find something that will instantly help you feel not alone while honoring the full weight of loss.
Click below to sign up for our Book Club, then join us November 20 for a thoughtful discussion.
ADVENTURE TRAVEL
How Travel Can Help Redefine Your World After Loss
By Kristen Martel
We all have defining moments that shape our lives through enlightenment, joy, and sorrow. Watching my parents drive away on my first day of college and holding my newborn for the first time were both pivotal in my journey. But for years, the death of my first husband was so defining that it created a stoppage in my family’s timeline, labeling every memory either “pre” or “post” loss.
Looking back on my pre-loss life, it was a model of consistency. I was blessed with a rewarding career, a loving marriage, and healthy, happy children. Before the sweet chaos of baby years, I traveled mainly for business. Once we had the kids, traveling became a rare treat because money was tight, and it was hard to get away.
When Gary passed away from cancer, he was 46 years old, and I was 37. Our children, Ben, Caroline, and Sam were only 5, 7, and 9. For years in my post-loss life, I chose to forgo traveling to focus on my kids and create a sense of normalcy for them. I was also too nervous to leave them and put myself in any kind of harm’s way.
Fourteen years post-loss, I am blessed to say that we are all living life to its fullest in memory of Gary! The kids are thriving young adults in college, I have remarried and own an antique and vintage store in Virginia. My empty nest and flexible work schedule allow travel, although it is mostly solo as my husband can’t get away from work often.
So how do I travel alone?
Click below to continue reading Kristen’s article.
Kristen Martel is an AdventureWomen Ambassador. Travel became her path to life after losing her husband Gary.
MWC ART CLUB
Cultivating Personal Growth Through Art
Join Dr. Linda Shanti McCabe and your fellow Wisters (widow + sisters) to create SoulCollage cards and connect through art. You don’t need to be a professional artist or have any previous art experience to join our Art Club!
The club meets on Zoom the first Saturday of each month. Our next meeting is November 4 at 1pm ET, and the theme is using gratitude for post-traumatic growth and appreciation of life.
Our Art Club is free to join and attend. Your only cost will be your art supplies. Click below to sign up!