MWC MONTHLY TOPIC
Resilient Healing Through Transformation
Our September 2023 topic is found under our Physical Health Pillar of Healthy Widowhood. Modern Widows Club Founder Carolyn Moor shares a preview:
This month’s topic is one of my favorites because I’ve spent many years researching resilience and the science behind building it.
I really didn’t think much about resilience until I became a widow and felt like every day was an endurance race in resilience building.
What I’ve learned I’d love to share with you, because I wish someone had shared it with me in early widowhood.
The first thing is: before resilient healing happens, resilient grieving happens. I learned how to do that from Dr. Lucy Hone’s book Resilient Grieving: How to Find Your Way Through a Devastating Loss. It taught me that the death of someone I loved may be inevitable, but being paralyzed by that grief is not.
Dr. Hone says we all have the capacity and capability for resilient grieving — an innate ability to respond to traumatic loss by finding ways to grow. As an expert in both bereavement research and infusing positive psychology, I tended to believe her. So much so that she wrote about Modern Widows Club and me in her book (page 88) in the chapter about positive emotions and the power of finding inspiration.
I then learned from resilience expert Dr. Steven Southwick at Yale School of Medicine that resilient grieving turns into resilient healing. Dr. Southwick shared more about those of us who have had to “turn on” our resilient building due to an incident in our life — the death of our partner or spouse — and that we began a journey we didn’t even realize we were on. A journey to find deeper meaning and purpose in our own lives knowing now that we are mortal.
Isn’t that so true? Listen for more...
MWC SPECIAL EVENT
See You at WEE!
Our Widow Empowerment Event is just around the corner, and we’re so excited to experience this transformative weekend with you. It’s filled with insightful, big-hearted speakers whose powerful session topics are packed with inspiration and meaning.
No matter how long it’s been since you became widowed, our event sessions and resources will help you determine where you are on the hope, heal, grow, and lead pathway in widowhood, helping you see and acknowledge the courageous person you are and the amazing things you’re doing — and where you may be ready to focus next.
The gifts you’ll experience at WEE are something you’ll take home with you and keep close forever.
If you haven’t yet registered for WEE, you still have time!
WELLNESS WINDOW
Hitting the Wall
By Tara Gidus Collingwood, MS, RDN, CSSD, ACSM-CPT
When we got married, my late husband Stephen and I decided that we would go all out for our honeymoon and run two marathons in Paris and London. The marathons were a week apart, so we spent a week in each city — sightseeing, eating, drinking, and running our way through Europe.
We had both run several previous marathons, but running a marathon in a foreign country was a different experience. The biggest shocker was that the Paris Marathon did not have sports beverages available on the course (just water to drink). They offered dates, prunes, and apricots at the replenishment stations, along with sugar cubes to pop into your mouth along the way. Stephen looked at me when we went through the first food station and said, “Seriously? Am I supposed to eat prunes?”
I don’t think he took in quite enough sugar and dried fruit along the way because at mile 21 he faded fast. Putting one foot in front of the other was a struggle for him with absolutely no energy. He “hit the wall” pretty badly and the finish line was still 5 miles away.
Running a marathon is a pretty big feat and most of us aren’t doing that much exercise in a day. If you are doing a typical daily workout of 30-60 minutes, plain water is just fine — sports drinks aren’t always needed. When you know that you will be exercising intensely for longer than 60 minutes, start 15 minutes in with some kind of sugar and electrolyte replenishment.
Five Reasons You Might Be Hitting the Wall
Maybe you’re not running out of energy during endurance exercise, but you just feel exhausted or “off.” Listen to your body! Take a break and take care of yourself. Self-care is never wrong.
Click below to continue reading Tara’s article.
Tara Gidus Collingwood is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, Certified Personal Trainer, and fellow Wister. You can find her at dietdiva.net.
MENTORING PROGRAM
Embrace Progress on Your Widowhood Journey
Are you prepared to unlock fresh opportunities in your evolving life?
Are you eager to engage in active healing and personal development?
Do you seek both a supportive community and an accountability partner as you reconstruct your life?
Discover Carolyn Moor’s transformative 6-month PIVOT Mentoring Program, designed to empower widows to embrace their journey with a well-rounded, positive mindset and a drive for continual progress.
“I would encourage all widows who are trying to move forward with their ‘new normal’ to consider PIVOT. It gave me the confidence and clarity to step into a future that I did not ask for, as we Wisters well know.” – Beth P.
We invite you to join this journey of growth and adaptation.
Purposefully limited to a group of 20 widow participants, this workshop-style program offers a personalized and supportive environment to foster your pivot towards a more fulfilled life.
If you'd like to discuss if PIVOT is the right fit for you, please reach out to programdirector@modernwidowsclub.org before December 15, 2023.
MWC COMMUNITY LAUNCH
Our Black Widows Virtual Community is Launching!
Modern Widows Club is excited to announce the launch of our Black Widows Virtual Community and Support Group. The first meeting is scheduled for Tuesday, September 12.
This community is for widows of color looking to connect, engage, and share their widow life journey. Virtual meetings are held the second Tuesday of each month.
Azurae R. is the Community Advocate for our Black Widows Virtual Community. At just 27 years old, while 5 months pregnant and with their 10-month-old on her hip, Azurae lost her husband to lung cancer.
Three years later, during the pandemic in 2020, she founded the progressive nonprofit Young, Black & Widowed Inc. She became a certified Grief Coach and her global nonprofit has now provided peer grief support to more than 2,500 widow(er)s of every age, nationality, and religion worldwide.
For her efforts in grief support, as well as her service in the Chattanooga, Tennessee community through her advocacy on nonprofit boards, she was named one of Tennessee’s Top African-American Women in 2022 by the Tennessee Tribune.
“I’ve followed MWC since I became a widow in 2017,” shares Azurae, “and I’ve found it to be a major form of support throughout my 6 years of being widowed. I’m really excited about helping MWC create a wonderful network that really draws in the black widowed community. There are so many opportunities here to connect with other widows.”
She continues, “It’s my personal mission to let black widows know that they can have vibrant lives, they can go out and do fun things — there is life after loss. You can raise your children in a home full of love in your spouse’s memory, you can move forward, taking steps with your psychologist and grief support network in order to thrive in your life. The more people we reach who know they are not alone on this journey, the better.”
To learn more about our Black Widows Virtual Community, click the button below or email blackwidows@modernwidowsclub.org.
GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Within the Darkest Moments, the Seeds of Personal Growth are Sown
By Paula Harris
Losing your partner or spouse is an indescribable pain and shakes the very foundation of your existence. Amid this grief, we are confronted with the fragility of life and the impermanence of our relationships. It is during this vulnerable period that you may find yourself questioning the purpose of your own existence, searching for meaning amidst the grief and chaos.
As you begin to navigate the complexities of grief, you start to tap into your inherent resilience. Often described as “strength,” resilience is the capacity to adapt, bounce back, and grow stronger in the face of adversity. It is through resilience that we slowly emerge from the depths of despair, drawing upon our inner strength to rebuild our lives. In this process, you may discover that “hardiness” is not merely about bouncing back to your previous state but about transcending it. But how?
A newly widowed friend, Jackie, just posted on her Facebook page an image “I am strong, I am tired.” She is just beginning this evolution that occurs as we grapple with our loss, process our emotions, and find new ways of being in the world. In the journey of post-traumatic growth, we begin to redefine ourselves, shedding old identities and embracing the opportunity for personal transformation.
The death of a partner or spouse can become a catalyst for introspection, prompting us to live with intention and purpose. Here are some suggestions on how to get started on this journey.
Click below to continue reading Paula’s article.
Paula Harris, co-founder at WH Cornerstone Investments, is author of “Rise Up: A Widow’s Journal.” She is passionate about building a community of support and empowering widows to navigate their path forward.
#LEGENDARYWIDOWS
Profound and Inspirational Legacies
MWC’s book Legendary Widows: Stories of Legacy honors 12 accomplished and renowned widows who have had a profound and inspirational influence on millions of people around the world.
One of these is Graça Machel, a global leader for peace and human rights.
A freedom fighter, highly regarded educator, philanthropist, and national leader, Graça is destined to take her place in history as a tireless worker for justice, education, and social equality.
She was twice widowed, the second time from Nelson Mandela. Her marriage to Mandela makes her the only woman in modern history to have served as first lady of two countries: Mozambique and South Africa.
In her second widowhood, she continues to fight for human rights through universities and international organizations.
Read Graça’s full story, and learn about 11 other inspirational role models! Pick the book up on Amazon for yourself, or give it as a gift.
100% of proceeds help MWC continue our mission to serve all widows who find us worldwide.