MONTHLY TOPIC
Willpower + Waypower
Our January 2023 topic is found under our Emotional and Mental Health Pillar of Healthy Widowhood. Modern Widows Club Founder Carolyn Moor gives a preview of this month’s video:
Let’s start the new year learning about willpower + waypower in relation to the psychology of hope.
The willpower + waypower concept is one I’d like to share to inspire you going into 2023 to shape your future with both courage and knowledge.
Last year I was introduced to Dr. Rick Snyder’s pioneering work researching how we as humans create hope in our life. It sounds like this would be easy enough, but as you’ve probably already learned, in widowhood it’s difficult to balance all of your needs in order to “widow well.”
It’s hard to keep developing and mustering up hope when we have so many areas to focus on all at once. I get it. We get it.
Learn more about willpower + waypower in Carolyn’s video.
LEGENDARY WIDOW ROLE MODEL
Te Ata Thompson Fisher
Our January 2023 Legendary Widow Role Model was a citizen of the Chickasaw Nation and a performer of Native American stories. Her name means “Bearer of the Morning.” In a career spanning more than 60 years, she told Chickasaw legends, myths and chants, and performed rituals in native dress. Te Ata preserved and promoted great affection for old ways, Native Americans, and natural beauty.
Mary Frances Thompson Fisher was born in Emet, Chickasaw Nation on December 3, 1895. She attended Oklahoma College for Women (now the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma) in Chickasaw where Francis Densmore Davis, an active researcher of Native American cultures, recognized her talent for drama. Davis encouraged her to use Native American stories as the basis for her senior performance at college. Soon Mary began using the name Te Ata, reflecting her heritage.
After graduation in 1919, Te Ata developed her own style of storytelling using various Native American sources. She said she wanted to share with others the richness, wisdom, and wonder of her heritage. Her readings, storytelling, and dance were often accompanied by piano music, and she used small drums, rattles, and other traditional instruments.
In 1933 Te Ata performed for the first state dinner given by President Franklin D. Roosevelt. In 1939 she performed again for the Roosevelts at their home in Hyde Park, New York, on the occasion of a state visit by the king and queen of Great Britain.
While working in theater in New York City, Te Ata met Clyde Fisher, a naturalist. The couple was married for 16 years, from 1933 until Fisher’s death in 1949 at age 70. After Clyde’s death, Te Ata continued to travel and perform.
In 1957 Te Ata was inducted into the Oklahoma Hall of Fame. She was named Woman of the Year by The Ladies Home Journal in 1976, and named Oklahoma’s Official State Treasure in 1987. In 1990, she was inducted into the Chickasaw Hall of Fame.
Te Ata died at age 99 in Oklahoma City on October 26, 1995. Her influence on the appreciation of native traditions, mentoring, and the art of storytelling is her enduring legacy.
Read about our other Legendary Widow Role Models here.
MWC SPECIAL EVENT
Are You Ready to Say “Yes” to Love Again?
On Tuesday, January 10 at 9pm ET, join your hosts Jen Johnson and Jenn Fortune from the MWC Dating Club for this special Zoom-based webinar.
Dating in widowhood is a big step into the future that brings about many new experiences. Conversations around dating in widowhood are so important so we can learn from one another and grow together. You are not alone, and many have walked this journey before.
Click the button below to register for this special webinar free of charge as part of the MWC Educational Series. A Zoom link will be emailed to you after registration.
MWC SPECIAL EVENT
Interactive Coach-a-Thon with Carolyn Moor
On Tuesday, January 24 at 8pm ET, you’re invited to an interactive Zoom-based Coach-a-Thon with Modern Widows Club Founder Carolyn Moor.
Come experience this meaningful and supportive evening of open Q&A with plenty of wisdom shared about the journey of widowhood, and an opportunity for a 1:1 conversation with Carolyn.
Please bring your question for Carolyn, which you can ask publicly or privately. All widows are welcome.
To attend, you must register in advance — just click the button below. After registering, you’ll receive a confirmation email with details about joining the session.
This session will not be recorded, so don’t forget to sign up and attend. We look forward to seeing you there.
MENTAL HEALTH MOMENTS
Ask a Therapist
By Cyndi Williams, MSW, LCSW
Q: My husband died over 5 years ago. Why did this 5th anniversary hit me so hard?
Q: It’s been 9 years. When will it stop feeling like I’m still in love with my late husband?
Oh, boy, these questions hit close to my heart. Both imply there is an expiration date on our grief. Grief expert and author Dr. Alan Wolfelt said “Death ends a life, not a relationship. All the love that you created is still there.”
It’s been almost 10 years for me… and from both a personal and professional perspective, I can say that I hope the day never comes that I no longer love my late husband or miss his presence in my life.
I wish I could be sitting with both of you in person, so you could see the compassion with which I ask: Who told you that continuing to be in love or still grieving him at 5, 9, or 20 years is a bad thing, or that your goal should be to not be in love with him or not miss him?
Surely this message did not come from someone who has been through what you have survived or they would know that grief is not a race to forget, but a journey where we are challenged to acknowledge, honor, and find a way to integrate that love into our lives without our person physically here with us.
What I mean by this is that even though “being in love” with your person can’t look like flowers and date nights anymore, we can find ways to continue connecting with their memory, their legacy, and their impact on our life by living out these things on our own, or even after we have re-partnered.
Healthy relationships in widowhood require a feeling of being safe and supported in our grief and in honoring our late spouse. That can mean being part of a widow’s organization, posting on social media in their honor on birthdays, anniversaries, or other special days, planting a tree that welcomes us to spend a moment thinking of them as we watch it grow, or another special activity.
What a beautiful testament to the love you both experienced with your husbands that it endures long after his last day!
Is there a question you'd like to ask a licensed therapist? Questions can be submitted anonymously, and may be featured in a future issue of Inside Look.
Widowed in 2013, Cyndi Williams, LCSW is a mental health advisor and contributor for Modern Widows Club. Follow her on Facebook at CyndiWilliamsLCSW.
MWC SPECIAL EVENT
Registration is Now Open for Our Virtual Widow Empowerment Event
What happens when you bring together widows from wherever they are in the world with inspiring speakers for one meaningful, powerful day?
She feels seen, heard, respected, and loved for the formidable, courageous woman she is. She finds a way to move forward, reach back to help others, and honor her love legacy.
Join us on Zoom on Saturday, April 29 for our WEE 2023 Virtual Conference to experience this power yourself!
Our event will be held LIVE with multiple topics and speakers who will inspire and encourage you.
WEE 2023 Virtual is open to all widows. Just click the button below to learn more or register.
If you’re not able to attend all of the live sessions on April 29, you can still watch the ones you missed. All sessions will be recorded for later viewing by registrants.
MWC BOOK CLUB
Join Us for Our January Book Club
Our virtual Book Club for widows meets on Zoom the third Monday of each month. Our next meeting is January 16 at 8pm ET, when we’ll be discussing Inspire Connect Lead: Empowering Your Widow Mentoring and Leadership Gifts by MWC Founder Carolyn Moor.
Inspire Connect Lead will enable you to become inspired to connect and lead widows with your natural gifts. Activating the power between you and a mentee requires gifts of your time, availability, communication, integrity, understanding, listening, emotional support, leadership, and much more.
Read powerful stories and insights from decades of lived experiences mentoring and leading widows on the front lines of authentic community building, then use this resource as it shares how to become a compassionate, empathetic, non-judgmental widow mentor and leader by engaging your capability to engage your natural gifts to advocate in local communities, groups, and places of worship.
Serving widows is the last area of great social significance to be addressed and solved for women’s health. Join the movement to create positive change.
Click the button below to sign up or to update your subscription preferences to be included.