Use Gratitude to Appreciate What Once Was and Look Forward to What’s Ahead
INSIDE LOOK Newsletter
LEGENDARY WIDOW ROLE MODEL
Marian Shields Robinson
Our November 2023 Legendary Widow Role Model was born in Chicago in July of 1937 as one of seven children to her father Purnell, a painter and carpenter, and her mother Rebecca, a licensed practical nurse.
In 1960, Marian Lois Shields married Fraser C. Robinson III, a pump worker for the City of Chicago. They raised two children who both become graduates of Ivy League schools. Their son is college basketball coach Craig Robinson, and their daughter Michelle married United States President Barack Obama.
Marian and Fraser scrimped to provide for their children, even putting up walls in the living room of their four-room home so Michelle and Craig could have bedrooms. Once the children were in high school, Marian took a job as a bank secretary and kept that position until she retired.
Fraser died in 1991 after a long battle with multiple sclerosis. Michelle Obama’s first book, Becoming, describes her close relationship with both Fraser and Marian.
In her widowhood, Marian continued her work, though retirement may have come sooner than she’d planned, prompted by her move to Washington, DC in 2008 when her son-in-law was elected President of the United States. Suddenly the modest mother-in-law of Barack Obama took on a very visible role as “Grandmother in Chief” with active daily participation in her granddaughters’ lives. Having their only grandparent in the household was a way that she could help to keep their lives normal and provide a stabilizing presence in the midst of the whirlwind of political life, Marian said when interviewed by BET, Oprah Winfrey, and national newspapers.
Marian started running in her 50s and became a gold medalist in both the 50-meter and 100-meter races in the 1997 Illinois Senior Olympics, but gave up running after an injury. With her competitive nature, she lost interest if she wasn’t winning, she has said.
Marian, a private person, has resumed a quiet life in Chicago, and her granddaughters are now on their own. However, the Obama Presidential Center is expected to raise her profile again when it opens in 2025, as the exhibit “Opening the White House” will be named in her honor.
Read about our other Legendary Widow Role Models here.
#GIVINGTUESDAY
Join Us for Giving Tuesday, November 28
At Modern Widows Club, widow research matters. Thanks to dedicated supporters like you, we work to shine a light on the reality of widowhood in the United States and beyond.
We are committed to leading the way in widowhood research and being a changemaker for widows — ensuring that they are seen, heard, and represented.
#GivingTuesday, the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday, is a day designated for people around the world to come together through acts of generosity.
Modern Widows Club is one of the nonprofit charities participating in Giving Tuesday. You can help us continue to serve widows nationally, internationally, and virtually by making a tax-deductible donation on November 28 or at any time beforehand.
On behalf of our organization and all of the widows we serve, thank you for your kindness.
MENTAL HEALTH MOMENTS
Love is Never the Wrong Choice
By Cyndi Williams, MSW, LCSW
When things fall apart around us, it’s so tempting to start building walls of protection around us. That is okay, and even necessary sometimes, to allow yourself the time and space to heal.
But human beings were not meant to do this thing called life alone. I have been in a few committed long-term relationships since losing my husband. Starting over is not for those with weak constitutions. It is gut wrenching work to love again… and again…and sometimes again. My late husband showed me the kind of love I deserve. He could finish my sentences, we could share an inside joke with a glance, and he was the one I could trust with my children and myself when I needed to “tap out” mentally or emotionally. When you lose that, it can take a long time to heal and start to trust yourself. Decision fatigue, loneliness, insecurities, and self-doubt can be a daily battle to overcome.
But, at some point, the pain of being alone will begin to overcome the protection the walls once provided, and you will want to connect again with others. If you are not interested in dating or finding love again, please read the rest of this article from the perspective of friendships and family relationships rather than through a romantic lens, because it still applies.
Click below to continue reading Cyndi’s article.
Widowed in 2013, Cyndi Williams is a mental health advisor and contributor for Modern Widows Club. Follow her on Facebook at CyndiWilliamsLCSW.
MENTORING FOR WIDOWS
PIVOT 6-Month Mentoring Program with MWC Founder Carolyn Moor
This transformative journey, which runs from January through June 2024, is designed to empower widows to embrace their new life with a well-rounded, positive mindset and a drive for continual progress.
Positive Changes Previous PIVOT Participants Have Experienced
“This program is the next growth step. I needed to step into something that put me first.” – Jessica
“Being involved in PIVOT gave me the support and resources to find my new self after my husband passed away. I was able to realize that there was a future for me.” – Beth
“PIVOT has opened up a whole new world to me. New opportunities and resources that I hadn’t known existed. It’s okay to be happy, and I’m finding more of who I am.” – Terri
“I would highly recommend the PIVOT program to widows at any stage. There is so much more life and love to give. Life doesn’t have to stop with the death of our loved one. Let this great organization help guide you through widowhood.” – Kelli
“I loved being a part of the PIVOT program. The ability to have one-on-one teaching and guidance from someone who knows widows, has a heart for widows, and has the knowledge and education to support and make a difference in the lives of widows is incredibly impactful.” – Alicia
Space is limited to 20 attendees. Please register soon to ensure your spot!
GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Growth as a Widow: Finding Gratitude in Grief
By Paula Harris
As a widow, it can be difficult to find things to be grateful for. Navigating a complex emotional landscape marked by grief, loneliness, and even anger is an unwelcome burden that feels impossible to find a silver lining in.
The void created and the loss endured often overshadows a powerful tool that fosters solace and healing: gratitude.
While there is no shortcut through grief, practicing gratitude can be a transformative process. Rather than denying the pain, it’s about finding the strength to move forward while honoring the love that was shared. Finding gratitude from grief can help you rediscover the beauty in life, build resilience, and find a sense of purpose.
Before we delve further into the topic of gratitude, it’s crucial to acknowledge the immense pain and loss that accompanies widowhood. After the death of a spouse, it’s perfectly natural to feel a wide range of emotions — grieving is a unique, personal journey, and there is no right or wrong way to experience it. Recognizing your feelings and allowing yourself to grieve is an essential part of the healing process.
Click below to continue reading Paula’s article.
Paula Harris, co-founder at WH Cornerstone Investments, is author of “Rise Up: A Widow’s Journal.” She is passionate about building a community of support and empowering widows to navigate their path forward.
MWC ART CLUB
Express Yourself with Imagination
Join Dr. Linda Shanti McCabe and your fellow Wisters (widow + sisters) as you create SoulCollage cards to express yourself authentically through art. You don’t need to be a professional artist or have any previous art experience to join our Art Club!
Our club meets on Zoom the first Saturday of each month at 1pm ET. Our next club meeting is December 2, and the theme is Winter Solstice.
Our Art Club is free to join and attend. Your only cost will be your art supplies. Click below to sign up.
MWC PARENTING CLUB
Are You a Widowed Parent?
If you’re a widowed parent with children of any age — whether or not you’re currently a member of our Parenting Club — would you please take a few minutes to complete our brief survey?
Your input will help us better understand and address the needs of both current and future Parenting Club members. We’re grateful for your time!
MWC STORE
MWC Apparel for Holiday Giving
Are you looking for a great holiday gift for a widow sister? We offer short- and long-sleeve tees, tanks, and hoodies in a variety of logo designs and colors, along with our MWC logo tee in our signature teal color.
A percentage of your purchase helps support the work we do. Thank you!
MWC BOOK CLUB
Join Us for Our December Book Club
Our virtual Book Club for widows meets on Zoom the third Monday of each month. Our next meeting is December 18 at 8pm ET, when we’ll discuss Kindness and Wonder: Why Mister Rogers Matters Now More Than Ever by Gavin Edwards.
This book reminds us of the important lessons and insights that Mister Rogers conveyed — being a good person, being open-hearted, being thoughtful, being curious, and being compassionate — and why they matter.
Mister Rogers’ widow Joanne celebrated and protected the legacy of her husband Fred after he passed away in 2003. She actively continued to spread his message of kindness until her death in 2021, ultimately helping to make our December book selection possible.
Click below to sign up for our Book Club.
To our Wisters in the United States who celebrate, we hope you find comfort, safety, love, and joy on Thanksgiving Day.