What are You Celebrating in May 2023?

Widowhood offers a new perspective to lean in.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness” - Desmond Tutu

May is a month full of busy-ness all around us in blooming nature, schools finalizing the year, graduations, weddings, and making summer plans. It’s the official end of the spring season for those living in the Northern Hemisphere and the fifth month of the year. For the first time I looked up the description for the word ‘MAY’ and it said “can, be allowed, be authorized, possibility, be permitted and can do”.

Historically, the month of May received its name from the greek goddess Maia. She was the daughter of Atlas, a Titan who was responsible for bearing the weight of the heavens on his shoulders, and the mother of her son Hermes with the god Zeus, she was considered the messenger of the Gods. She was associated with being the goddess of ‘growth’ in springtime.

It’s no wonder spring season is one of many new beginnings and big moments, especially in widowhood. One day at a time.

It is not lost on me the many weights on our ladies shoulders when you are attending graduations, family gatherings, celebrations and weddings that are happening it seems in every direction you look in springtime. Whether through social media or in your personal lives with friends and family. It’s these moments when many widowed women face big moments that feels the pressure of being two people, two parents, one instead of two standing strong in the daily doings of life in this new journey.

As hard as it is, we don’t want to miss anything, because in widowhood, little things are big things. We know that in one less breathe that these celebrations, graduations, weddings or gatherings could just as easily be a memorial or a funeral or celebration of a life lived. It’s that real for us. We attend to life differently now having lost our loved one. We are forever seeing life through a new filter.

We attempt to do the impossible knowing the veil is thin between these two worlds of high and lows have shown themselves to you.

No amount of ‘faith’ can cover for the absence of someone else. A big part of grieving and healing is the acceptance that we cannot make up for a dad’s or husbands absence in these springtime happenings. Instead we honor the absence by giving ourselves lots of grace!!!

Grace here, grace there, grace everywhere.

I’m sending as much love as I can to YOU through this blog post to the many solo parents and grandparents who are navigating this season. I see you representing both wife and husband, mother and father. Even without having children, you are mothering and caring, you go to these celebrations solo, but you are never alone, the love of two is still inside you and that is what is showing up. Allow me to bless and affirm you for the amount of strength, courage, mindset, heart and patience it takes to move through these moments of life.

YOU are worth celebrating for showing up at these milestones.

Milestones such as graduations, weddings, career launched, and the birth of children are usually celebrated in our culture. Yet, there’s a lot more to celebrate that isn’t seen, that often goes unnoticed, that are just as important and worthy…. and those are the milestones that we, in widowhood, walk through 24/7/365.

I ask you, “What are you celebrating while you are celebrating these milestones?”

YOUR:

Courage

Strength

Capability

Love

Kindness

Connection

Values

Care

Healing

Hope

Growth

Life

You are facing these moments, something that initially feels soul crushing, but you still lean in and do it. It’s an incredible accomplishment to pick up your life and to have the courage to start again, start anew, start in a new place, start a new identity. This is widowhood every day.

Let me remind you of who you are.

You are a mountain, a deep blue ocean, and as expansive as the solar system. You can do this. You are allowed, you have permission, you have the authority. That is what MAY means. Widows become the worlds messengers of hope, healing, growth and love that continues to move through you, embody you and given back out into the world. That’s something phenomenal to share.

That little girl inside of you, that goddess or princess, that was full of dreams of being swept up into a great adventure, you are still on that journey. And as you step into these new MAY moments, you are accessing her, and not as a woman of duty or demands, but as a wise sage and feminine heart that is being restored to your inner knowing of power, freedom, worth and beauty to be released if you will allow it. You play an irreplaceable role in this grand adventure and it is continuing and asking for you to participate.

I hope you say yes. I hope you lean in. I hope you grow. I hope you find the light come on in your eyes. I hope your heart expands and makes room for the future that has yet to show itself. I hope you are aware of it when it comes and smiles at you.

That’s what I see in you, that’s what I see in our Modern Widows Club community.

Carolyn Moor

Will you JOIN US at Modern Widows Club this year? Here are some future events to enjoy and lean in.