COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT
Ellen C. and Susan G. launched the Modern Widows Club Melbourne, Florida community in July 2022. The first few meetings were really emotional as they learned about each other and their different journeys into widowhood.
Co-Advocate Ellen became a widow at 51 years of age. She lost her husband on their 15th anniversary, which happened to be Black Friday 2005, after a short but courageous fight with gastro-esophageal cancer. She had a son who was 14 at the time and distraught over losing his dad. To say times were difficult would be an understatement.
Co-Advocate Susan met her husband Floyd in 1994 and they married a few years later. Susan was widowed in June, 2019.
After 45 years in the medical field as a cardiac sonographer, Ellen retired to pursue her new career as a volunteer with a local nonprofit assisting families in need. Ellen relocated to Florida in 2020 and was searching for a new social network. That network was Modern Widows Club. She knew this was an organization that spoke to her on so many levels and she was grateful to have found so many amazing women!
At the Melbourne community meetings, bonds began to form. As Ellen says, “A sense of safety and security were growing in the knowledge that we were not alone.” Conversations became easier, there was more laughter and fewer tears. It was learning that life can have joy that eases some of the pain.
The community started off with regular monthly meetings but the ladies wanted to try doing some activities, so they were off and running! They’ve gone axe throwing — a new experience for everyone that had them laughing at themselves all afternoon. They’ve gone to the zoo, taken a nature walk at a local sanctuary, and a few of them have gone to local theater shows. They also have luncheons, and it’s always great conversation and company!
“Everyone’s input has been so valuable and appreciated,” Ellen says. “I try to investigate every suggestion to keep us busy. It’s comforting to have our new friendships and Wister experiences with these amazing ladies.”
It’s a place where nobody is judged and everyone is welcomed. Learning it’s okay to laugh, cry, share, and care while weaving a tapestry of their new lives.
#WEE2023
Meet Our WEE 2023 Speakers!
Throughout July and August on Facebook and YouTube, join Modern Widows Club Founder Carolyn Moor LIVE for discussions with our WEE 2023 speakers!
These conversations are a special opportunity to learn more about our dynamic speakers, the powerful work they do, and the topics they’ll be discussing at WEE 2023 in St. Louis, Missouri, September 22–24.
The next interview is tomorrow, July 21 at 12pm ET, with Katie Stifter, Author and MWC Community Advocate.
You don’t need to sign up to watch! Just join Carolyn and Katie live on Facebook or YouTube for a great discussion.
To learn dates and times of the other upcoming live conversations with our WEE 2023 speakers, please follow our social media channels, and check in regularly! Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | YouTube | Twitter
To learn more about WEE 2023, and to view the full agenda, click below. WEE early-bird registration ends July 31!
MENTAL HEALTH MOMENTS
Less Selfies, More Photo Ops
By Cyndi Williams, MSW, LCSW
I was blessed by my late husband in so many ways, but one of the things I miss most is his gift of photography. We would spend a day together doing something wonderful or mundane, but if he had his Canon camera around his neck, I knew when he had a chance he’d immediately sit at his laptop on the couch and begin editing. Later that evening, I would delight in the words “Wanna see the photos from today?” YESSSS!
It might have been a really rough day overall, but I knew when I looked at his laptop I would see beauty. A photo of one of the kids in a moment of joy. A flower. A sunset. He could even see the beauty in a lamppost or the repetitive or random patterns of the staples left behind from the signs on a pole, or a stairway. As the day progressed, I never could remember all of the moments or things he captured with his lens, but seeing them at the end of a day always made me see the day differently.
I have a client who has gone through very rough times medically the past few years. Recently she asked “When will it get better?” Honestly? I don’t know… and the truth is, it could get worse. But this week, she and I talked about controlling what we have control over. We have control over what we give our attention to. We cannot control everything about our health, finances, relationships, etc. but we can choose to zoom in on the beauty and take note of it. And sometimes that makes the worst day better.
My challenge for you: find the photo op today! I don’t know when things will get better, but without exception, when you slow down to find it and choose to focus on it, there is always something beautiful right in THIS moment.
Widowed in 2013, Cyndi Williams is a mental health advisor and contributor for Modern Widows Club. Follow her on Facebook at CyndiWilliamsLCSW.
MWC E-COURSE
From Survival to Believement
You’re invited to try our free HOPE e-course, a self-paced, interactive program designed to bring you comfort and uplifting hope. The purpose of the HOPE stage in widowhood is to move from survival, to bereavement, to believement.
What is believement? It’s that moment when you've become aware of, and have accepted, a feeling of hope — no matter how fleeting it may be. You may not feel you have a goal or purpose, but you’ve made a commitment to yourself to create forward momentum on your journey.
Our HOPE e-course is offered at no cost through our Widow Empowerment School of Thought online learning platform. All of our e-courses are designed by widows, for widows, and are available 24/7/365.
GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Finding Your Wings
By Paula Harris
Life, and widowhood, is a journey of self-discovery, and one of the most interesting aspects is unraveling the layers of our own individuality. As you venture into the realm of solo living, it’s a unique opportunity to create a life filled with purpose, as well as fun and freedom. Although you would rather have your partner still by your side, this transformative period presents itself as a canvas where you can design a life that aligns with your passions, values, and aspirations. Let’s explore how to cultivate a sense of joy, adventure, and freedom as you embark on the path of self-discovery on your own.
At a recent Independence Day picnic, I had a conversation with widow of 18 months. She misses her husband deeply and yet, she was able to see how she was able to explore life in new ways that included not having to share the TV remote and being able to read in bed at night as long as she wanted. She was exploring new foods that he never liked and is fully embracing her newest role in life — grandmother!
Embrace You
Discovering who you truly are requires self-reflection and introspection. It takes time and exploration. As you explore your interests, values, and goals, don’t assume that they are still the same as when your partner was alive. They may have shifted as you’ve begun choosing what you want to pursue rather than going along with what others wanted or expected from you. Unearth your passions and hobbies that spark a sense of joy within you. Those activities that you can just get lost in for hours with no regard to time. Over time you will even develop new friends who share these same interests and values. Grab a notebook and start jotting down your ideas and insights.
Embrace the Unknown
Stepping into the unknown is an integral part of discovering yourself, even if it doesn’t always feel comfortable. Embrace the uncertainty and be open to new experiences. Travel to unfamiliar places locally or far away, try different cuisines, engage in activities that challenge you physically and mentally, and connect with people from whom you can learn and grow. By venturing beyond your comfort zone, you create opportunities for developing your wings that will help you soar to new levels of self-discovery and creativity. What’s one thing you can do today to help you step into the unknown?
Click below to continue reading Paula’s article.
Paula Harris, co-founder at WH Cornerstone Investments, is author of “Rise Up: A Widow’s Journal.” She is passionate about building a community of support and empowering widows to navigate their path forward.
MWC ON YOUTUBE
Have You Visited Us on YouTube?
We share a lot of great content on our YouTube channel, including videos from Carolyn Moor and the Modern Widows Club team, livestreams, interviews with widow champions and advocates, Carolyn’s monthly videos highlighting our Seven Pillars of Healthy Widowhood, special events and presentations, and much more.
If you haven’t yet visited our channel, we hope you’ll come by — and please click the “Subscribe” button!